Saying Wedding Vows Wouldn’t Change Him

A wedding is a wonderful day it’s a celebration of your love.  It’s a tying of the knot it’s the making of two lives into one. It’s a contact for life.

But as wonderful as a wedding may be it does not posses supernatural powers . 

The two people who get married are not going to be any different after they exchange wedding vows than they were before. That may seem obvious, yet it comes as a surprise to many people who believe that after they are married, they will be able to change their spouses into someone else.

Were it only so but it’s not people don’t change they may deviate from their norm a bit. They may say they’ll do better and they may make promises. They may give it the old college try but they won’t change. It’s not because they don’t want to it’s because they can’t. Some traits are just hard-wired into the brain. Some bodies won’t get smaller. Some people are so addicted that it takes them years to change and counting on such changes happening can lead to disappointment.

 So instead of thinking of your wedding day as the day your spouse becomes someone new think of it as the day you finally accept your spouse just the way her or she already is. Don’t enter into marriage expecting to change your spouse into a hard worker, a neatnik, a good dresser, a blond, a nonsmoker, a saver, a spender, a size smaller, a teetotaler, a person who only eyes for you if he or she has been unfaithful to you before you say your wedding vows.

If you buy a compact car it won’t turn into a SUV overnight in your garage, no matter how much you try to wish it would. Don’t expect your new spouse to similarly transform just because her or she walked down the aisle with you.

When your partner makes a change because it pleases you, it is really one of the ultimate signs of love. But if you tell your partner that you’re going to stop smoking, for example, and then you can’t. You’ve put your relationship at risk as well your health.  So don’t make rash promises in the name of love. It won’t make such promises any easier to keep, and it might make your life much tougher when you break them.

Don’t wait until you are blind-sided by sudden crises, tragedy or anger because the person you walked down the aisle with didn’t change. Don’t make promises you can’t keep make the changes before you walk down the aisle because the day you exchange vows doesn’t magical change your habits. Sometimes not exchanging vows until the two of you seek premarital counselling can prevent such crises.

 So don’t make rash promises in the name of love you can’t keep it makes life much tougher when you break them. Just talk to anyone who has ever exchanged wedding vows with good intentions and thought love would change their issues. Good Luck…