I want to share with you five things couples have learned the hard way that you can do today to help strengthen the bonds between you and your spouse.
Terri Orbuch is a psychologist and research professor at the University of Michigan’s Institute of Social Research, she recently identified some of the top common regrets of divorced couples.
“Divorced individuals who step back and say, ‘ This is what I’ve done wrong and this is what I will change,’ have something powerful to teach others”, She recently told the Wall Street Journal.
1. Boost your spouse’s mood: Encouraging and affirming your spouse in very simple ways can go a very long way. One study found that when a husband reported his wife didn’t express love and affection (not necessarily sex) the couple was as likely to divorce.
2. Talk more about money: Money is a magnifier of problems but it’s also a common source of significant tension. Don’t keep secrets and establish a family budget and stick to it.
3. Get over the past: Couples who can’t forgive past hurts grow bitter and resentful. Again, talk it our. Write a letter. Talk with a friend.
4. Blame the relationship: Studies suggest that 65% of divorces blame the ex-spouse for the demise of their marriage. When discussing relationship problems. Dr. Orbuch suggests saying, “we,”or “I,” for example, you might say. “We are both so tired lately,” not “You are so crabby.”
5. Reveal more about yourself: Dr. Orbuch recommends: Every day, for 10 minutes, the couple should talk alone about something other than work, the family and children, the household, the relationship. No problems. No scheduling. No logistics.
Do you resonate with these findings? What might you add as #6 on this list? leave your comments in the comment box… Thanks