A relationship is always far more than we imagine or expect it to be. It is more than an a living arrangement, more than being together in a social arrangement, more than the bright-colored kite tail of romance.
It is the coming together of two persons whose spirits participate with one another, beautifully and painfully, in the inexorable process of their individual becoming.
Whether it is clearly visible or not, every relationship has a higher power than itself alone, a meaning that goes beyond the conventions of love and romance, and attaches the two people in it to a destiny that has roots in the past, and wings in the future.
This purpose is to shape us individually into the highest and best versions of ourselves and to change, if only some tiny way, the essential character of the reality we have entered here by being born. To know this is to believe that whatever occurs between you such as the petty dramas and traumas, the life shaping tragedies is honing you for your unique participation in the human stream. It is to accept that the person you love has come into your life for a reason that goes beyond the satisfactions of the moment or even your personal future to reach into the web beyond time.
What you do here together, how well and how beautifully you do it, has implications not only for how cozily you sit together in your rocking chairs in your old age, but also for every other living being. We are all participants in the process of creating a species and a world that hums with peace and is informed by love. This is our highest heritage, and when we sanctify our relationships, the difficulties and insults they contain will be instantly diminished and what will stand in their place is the overwhelming presence of real love.
Sanctifying your relationship means seeing it not as an act of self-indulgence, but as an offering of love that you deliver up with joy to the fulfilment of its higher meaning. This entails not only an attitude of acceptance but also two behaviors: making speech and keeping silence.
It means verbally acknowledging this higher truth to one another: “Thank you for being the instrument for the discovery of my purpose,” I know we have come together for an important reason.” I love you for being my way to see the holiness of life.”
At times it also means keeping the silence in your heart, which is a thanksgiving of this higher purpose,or engaging together in a practice of meditation, which is a walking together in spirit, a prayer that your purpose together is revealed.You love is a stitch in the fabric of the All. To see it as such is to place your relationship in the ultimate perspective and to receive from it the ultimate joy.
We all need the paths of our lives to be marked out so that we can be reminded of the quality of our lives and the beauty of our loves. We dignify and consecrate our relationships when we set them apart from the ordinary ritual. Personal rituals provide a reference not only for the value we place upon our relationships, but also for the value we ask be conferred upon them.
Relationship ceremonies say that, this day is not like all other days, this person is not like all the other people; this love is not like all other loves. Not only in our hearts but also in our actions, we intend it to be a union of meaning, with allegiance to a valuable mission. The consecration of your relationship is a creative and deeply private affair.
Set aside for a special time to acknowledge your union, your wedding anniversary perhaps; choose a specific place to honor it; and create your own private ceremony. Light candles, say words, play music. Consecrating your relationship is the sign. repeated and beautiful, that you choose to view your relationship as holy, as no mistake, and that you intend, through it and with your beloved as your witness, always to live it to the highest of its purpose.