“Sometimes Reclaiming Your Life Means Giving Up The Fariy Tale”

Couple in conflictHave you ever felt that you walked the path of your life alone? That you were the only woman who has ever made a painful, stupid mistake? That you settled for less than you deserved?  Did you desperately desire love above all else? Did you yearn for a real partner so much it hurt: Have you ever thought “Why is every woman but me in a great relationship?  “Why can’t I be that happy?” Or found yourself rejected by the person you loved and it left you feeling that something was wrong with you?

When a devastating breakdown of a relationship ends it can feel like a wild boar‘s tusk ripping through your heart. You can become convinced that you are the only woman who has ever made a complete mess of your life. You feel alone, rejected, and furious that you had deceived yourself for so long. That you had given up on “yourself” to keep the love of another for years, only to be left with a heart torn to shreds.

What women learn shortly after the initial blow of their relationship’s end is that, they failed to understand above all else, is that they needed to honor the most important relationship of all “the one with themselves.” The ending of a relationship becomes the beginning of a journey for women  to learn many things about themselves and how to love and honor themselves.

The journey of being a woman can seem crazy and confusing but for better or worse, women have many of the same stories, heartbreak, obstacles, and expectations. The good news is that women don’t have to remain captive to the limiting beliefs swirling in their psyches and in society, which keeps them far from their dreams. We always have a choice. Along life’s path, we all have the opportunity to gain wisdom from our mistakes, the self-awareness that comes from healing our wounds, and clarity by claiming our needs.

If we are lucky enough to wake up to the immense power that is available to heal our hearts and teach us how to love ourselves, we have a responsibility to share our stories and insights with others. Otherwise, the true power of our realizations will be lost. Sharing allows us to see ourselves in the words of others, gain witnesses to our personal journey, and broaden the possibilities that lie before us.

I, too relied on the wisdom and support of many women, some of them total strangers, to progress through my journey to wholeness.  By watching others and listening, I learned that to fully and wholeheartedly love another I first needed to fully and wholeheartedly embrace ” myself.” This realization is a major source of inspiration in my decision to share my knowledge and experiences with  other women. Women need to share the wisdom gained on their personal path as they went from being a person they thought they had to be to be loved to being the one they actually are.

In them I gained wisdom while on my personal path as I went from being  a person I thought I knew and loved to being one I actually do know and love. We shared our stories about living ordinary lives, raising children, creating a safe home life, the ups and downs of stay at home moms to the working moms. Some of us were married and some single. We talked about many issues like paying bills, being young, and getting older and the list goes on and on and lets not forget divorce as well. We also talked about trying to find sources of love and happiness but often looking in the wrong places. When we stopped and took a careful look at the life we had created and honesty answered this question “Am I honoring the most important relationship in my life first?  The one with my self and God.

We discovered reclaiming our lives meant giving up the fairy tale that we had created about ourselves and instead finding out what reality was. The new path may did not seem clear at the beginning to us  and we felt like we were fumbling in the dark grabbing for something to hold to, then one of my dear friends said, remember this is a normal feeling and keep moving forward and don’t go back. During this time we discovered within ourselves the spirit of survivor and a deeper faith we never knew existed.

 We also learned that loving ourselves is knowing ourselves, enjoying and valuing the women that we are, and understanding that getting to know ourselves and God  is a lifelong personal enterprise. It meant that we needed to  appreciate ourselves as much as we appreciate the ones we love. Loving ourselves is recognizing our gifts and talents and then putting them to good use, acknowledging our flaws and forgiving ourselves for them. We learned that loving ourselves was reaching for more, it was reaching for the best, in ourselves. We discovered that our hearts can only hold as much love as we believe it can. So often women put up with shabby treatment in love because they don’t believe they deserve better or they are still stuck in fairy tale thinking.  So treat yourself better, believe you deserve to be treated well, and you will get treated even more wonderfully in love than any fairy tale woman has ever been. 

Carol. M.

“Flowers Are love’s Truest Language”

The Flower GirlFlowers are a beautiful addition to any wedding decor, as well as a lovely adornment for the wedding partyBrides make sure they choose flowers with care and consideration to enhance their ceremony. It’s been said, that during Victorian times, lovers would send messages to each other using different flowers, with each flower having its own meaning. These associations were soon adopted for the bride’s bouquets and are still used today by many brides. Isn’t that romantic?

During Roman times, brides and grooms wore floral garlands to signify new life and hope for fertility. The custom of the bride carrying flowers has its roots in ancient times. Strong smelling herbs and spices were thought to ward off and drive away evil spirits and ill-health.

Flowers are love’s truest language and here is a few of the most popular wedding flowers preferred by brides today and their symbolic meanings.

  • Anemones: Represents expectations and they bloom in either single or double blossoms an is in season from fall (Japanese) to spring (Wood or De Can)
  • Baby’s Breath: Represents innocence and is best used as a filler in bouquets, corsage and are in season year round.
  • Calla Lily: Means magnificent beauty and this large tropical flower is very popular in weddings.
  • Carnations: Pink represents boldness, red symbolizes love and white indicates talent, some other colors have negative connotations. Carnations are in season all year-round and have a very light fragrance or none at all.
  • Chrysanthemum or Mum: Meaning wealth, abundance, truth and the name literally means “Golden Flower” used most often in the fall.
  • Daffodil: Meaning regard and is most often used in the spring.
  • Daisy: Meaning share your feelings and are in season year-round.
  • Freesia: Meaning innocence and spring brides enjoy the sweet fragrance of the freesia flower.
  • Gardenia: Meaning purity and joy.
  • Hydrangea: Meaning understanding and is used by spring and fall wedding bouquets and arrangements.
  • Iris: Meaning a message of faith, wisdom and spring brides enjoy this beautiful flower as part of their wedding bouquets.
  • Lilac: Meaning love’s first emotions with a strong fragrance. A little flower fact: The local lilac is grown like a bush, and is used as a filler because of the greenery. The French lilac is more flower like and can be used as such in bouquets and arrangements. This exotic flower comes in a variety of colors and sizes.
  • Lily of the Valley: Meaning happiness and these small, fragile, bell-shaped flowers are considered traditional marriage flowers.
  • Magnolia: Love of nature and are best used for flower arrangements by spring or summer brides.
  • Orchid: Meaning love, beauty and is best used for bouquet, boutonnieres and corsages.
  •  Roses:  Meaning love, joy and they are the most popular wedding flower.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      
  •   Stephanotis: Meaning marital happiness. They are best used for bouquets and arrangements. Brides love their trumpet shape blossoms consider them traditional bridal flowers, no doubt due to their meaning.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     
  • Tulips: Meaning love, passion this flower is a favorite for spring brides. Flower fact: These sweet and stately flowers can be found in myriad of colors. Let’s not forget the Sunflower many country brides love their sunflowers!

Brides and Grooms will be celebrating World Marriage Day on the second Sunday in February and it honors husbands and wives as the basic units of society, and statutes for “the beauty of their faithfulness, sacrifice, and joy in daily married life. This is a wonderful opportunity to celebrate with flowers that express your truest love language to your sweetheart.

Carol. E.