Having the courage to say “No” means that you trust yourself and your relationship. It means that you believe your bond has the strength and resilience to absorb your “No” as well as the power to grow in moral fortitude.
In saying “No” you exercise the faith that the two of you, together, can live by the values represented by your “No”; recognizing that these values will take you to a level higher than the one embodied by the things that you are choosing to resist.
Important “No’s” can be small and simple, an unadorned statement of preference that’s a quiet affirmation of your right to be yourself: “No”, I don’t want to go to the late show; I’ll be to tried for work in the morning.” No”, I don’t want dessert. “No”, I don’t want to go to the party.”
Saying “No” requires that you actually take a stand: “No”, I don’t want to buy a . . . We’re already too much in debt, or sometime you might have to make life and death decision that requires a hard “No”.
“No”, I wouldn’t give up pursuing my degree or my career to spend Tuesday nights with you but I am available all day Saturdays to be with you. You can end up loosing your integrity and become resentful. A “No” is a choice for the good and truth in the relationship.
It’s for the power and the possibilities of the relationship itself. Have the courage to say “No” as you go through life and remember sometimes the greatest perils come tiptoeing in sight unseen, and one of the most lethal of these sneaky assassins is saying “Yes” when you really mean “No”.