There Will Be No Lifetime Exactly Like This One

Which WayThere will be no love, no sweetheart, exactly like this one the man who pronounces your name in just such a way, with his beautiful voice, the man who brings flowers, whose words move your heart so tremblingly softly, whose arms holds you this way and they way, embracing, consoling, protecting: the woman whose fragrance enchants you, whose head on your chest when you sleep is the sweet weight of bliss, whose kisses are blessings, whose laughter is sunlight, whose smile is pure grace.

There will be no lifetime exactly like this one, no other, not ever again, not this birth, not this particular story, this mother and father, these houses and walls, these strangers and friends . Oh! And how you are moved by it all, with such beauty, touching each other, dancing, stepping, curtsying, bowing across all the stages, filling the rooms of your lives with this joy,  this sweet love. There will be no other way to live this life, only the way you have chosen to live it and with whom moment to moment. This moment , this day, this relationship, this life, are all unique, exquisite, unrepeatable. Like every  moment as if you, indelibly, knew this.

Speak Kind Words To Your Sweetheart

Love is like a gardenWords can build your sweetheart up or tear them down so it seems that this saying most that most of us grew up hearing from our parents and school teachers was right,” If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” Isn’t it amazing how a simply statement like that is so true?

Even small children learn that language is a very powerful instrument and what they utter gets results. When a baby says, Da, Da  or Ma, Ma for the first that little baby receives some awesome responses and that experience becomes forever ingrained in their parents hearts.

Statements like “You’re Brilliant” or “I Just Love The Way Your Mind Works” and this one, “You Are So Intelligent” spoken to your sweetheart can over time change how your sweetheart sees themselves. If your sweetheart was endlessly yelled at or told they were stupid or maybe they were overly criticized as a child they may not know just how brilliant they are and just how much you love and adore them.

It’s never to late to start telling your sweetheart just how wonderful they are and how much they mean to you. After all you’re no dummy and you have chosen them to be your sweetie . . .  so that right there makes them pretty awesome. Doesn’t it?

The more you tell them in all sincerity something  inside of them will start to shift and they will begin to believe you and in them selves and that they aren’t stupid. The more you speak kind and true words into them the more they will become able to believe you and in them selves. You will start to notice that other people will start saying similar things to them and in time the words will change entirely how your sweetheart feels about themselves.

Stop and celebrate your sweethearts intuitive genius and the extraordinary functions of their minds after all they were smart enough to choose to love you that choice right there makes them genius. Doesn’t it? One form of emotional healing comes from the precise use of language and words that you speak to your sweetheart and words that they speak to you. What you say, and what you hear them say, has the power to sculpt how you love and respond to your sweetheart.

Consider the words you utter to your sweetheart as words of great gifts of love and in the midst, marshal this powerful influence and use it to bring life, encouragement, and healing to the one you most adore. Negative words may have shaped your sweethearts early consciousness and their perception of themselves but you see the opposite in them. They may see themselves as, “Ugly” and you see them as,” Beautiful” don’t just tell them one or two times or when your feeling amours tell them often.

Remember silence is like a vacuüm, drawing in all thoughts that go by, so protect your sweethearts ears and be aware what your words imply. Choose your words carefully; think about what you say. Don’t fill the void with just anything, squawking like a jay. Make sure your emotions aren’t trapped elsewhere. Give what you say, meaning; speak and act with care. Then love will sound like a trumpet and to your words impart the clarity of romance as you speak to your sweetheart.

Giving Help Is A Sign Of Love

Woman In WhiteIt can be difficult to ask for help because you don’t want to appear weak or stupid. You don’t want to be turned down or put down. You don’t want to be yelled at or ignored. You don’t want to lose face or have a face made at you. Again. But once you cry out for assistance and that helping hand is next to yours, it’s such a relief and it makes you wonder why you waited so long to ask.

There is no better feeling than to be told help is on the way especially if it comes with two strong hands, a wealth of expertise, a blanket of caring, and a smile. You, see giving help is a sign of love. The person who comes to your aid is living proof that your lives are shared and that you each want to be there for the other with your time, your energy, and your knowledge.

So look at a cry for help as an opportunity to prove the strength of your love to each other. And never be afraid to ask for help . . . not from the one you love and who loves you. If you never ask for anyone’s help, when you do for the first time, you may get a strange reaction. The person you’re asking might not believe you at first. Don’t take their attitude as rejection; it’s just surprise.

To trust means that we start from the position of believing that our sweetheart is motivated by a deep concern for us , that he or she, in spite of occasional missteps or mistakes, truly has our well-being in mind. When we trust, we believe that the other loves us deeply and intends to love us well and long.

Trust images the best; trust expects the happiest possible outcome. Trust serves with joy in the expectation that trust will be returned. Trust develops trust. Acknowledging that the person you love with your heart, your body, your talents, your fears, your children, your worldly goods invites him or her to become even more worthy of that trust. Thus, the more you trust, the safer you become and the more you can love and ask for help. If you have be betrayed this is no easy task. Is it?

Words Are The Wings Of Romance

See The Sweet LifeNothing can sustain the high pitch of romance better than beautiful love words, generously and endlessly spoken. Love words are a tonic for love, an elixir for passion, a medicinal balm for fading romance. Life is full of ordinariness, and there isn’t any reason love should be too.

Love is what we fall into in order to partake of magic; Loves is how we fly. Words are the wings of romance, the way in which, more than any other, we elevate ourselves above the ordinary and pedestrian. Everybody wants to hear how much, and precisely why, he or she is loved. Even when we’ve been chosen, even when we’ve tied the knot, we still need verbal reassurance that we are loved.

We need to be endeared, to feel that we are special, delightful, precious, irreplaceable to the one we love. We want to be singled out, to be told we are loved above all by the person who has chosen us. We often think that having feelings about someone is as good as saying it, but it isn’t. Make no mistake . . . words mean a lot to all of us.

We all walk around with a huge collection of insecurities, and none of us is so sure, so cut and dried in our conviction about our own self-worth that we don’t need the inspiration of being told every which way, over and over again, exactly why, how , and how much we are loved.

We need to be told, and the words have to be heartfelt. There’s just no comparison between the abstract  “Of course I love you” and the direct “I love you” no contest between silence and “you’re the light of my life: I want to be with you forever.” Even though some people may think it’s corny, in the delicate layer of even the coolest of cucumber hearts is a lover who yearns to be adorned. There’s a hidden romantic in each of us, the person who fell in love, who was tantalized by music and moonlight, who waited breathlessly to hear the words of  love “I adore you. My Life is better with you in it.”

We want our hearts to be filled by hearing the love words over and over again. So call your sweetheart by a special name and tell her/him often what delights you about her, why you so deeply love him or her. Say the mushy/gushy things you think people only say in love stories and the more romantic and delicious the better. “You’re the woman of my dreams”.  Don’t say you’re the woman of my night mares . . . if that is the truth then heaven help you.   Say things like  . . .  “I love you to pieces.” “You’re my angel.” “You’re my wonderful man.” “You’re a fabulous lover.”

Some people are confused about romance and think it can be bought. While money may be able to help create a romantic atmosphere, romance itself doesn’t ever have a price tag attached to it, nor can it be wrapped up in a box from Tiffany’s. It just needs to be a significant part of you: a thought, block of time, a sympathetic ear, some warm arms, the pressure of a back rub, the flutter of a kiss. Love needs to nestle in the cocoon of romance. You don’t need threads of gold and silver to weave your own safe haven of love. All that’s required is a small part of yourself.

~ Granny In Training~

 

Girlfriends Forever

Friends ForeverThe best kind of friendship are the lasting , warm, and wonderful kind. They’re the kind when the caring never goes away and the two friends are so near in their hearts that they’ll stay closes forever. Our friendship is like that. We have a trust, an honesty, and a history together that make me think of you as so much more than a friend. You’re at the center of the circle of my life and you’ve been a precious part of so many yesterdays.

I know you’ll always stay that way, because when a friend is as close as you are, she’s just like family. You’ve always been and you always will just like a sister to me. We didn’t have all those yesterday’s of being little girls together. We didn’t share the same mother and father, or help each other blow out our birthday candles.

It's Great To Be A GirlThere weren’t any days of playing hopscotch or tag or of staying up nights giggling and planning our future’s. We never experienced the gift of love sisters share, until now. I have had many friends but none of them knows my heart and my spirit as you do. Your have given me something very special. . . the gift of a sister’s love. “What I’m trying to say is this: As long as you have me and I have you for a friend, life’s never going to be lonely, boring, or without someone special in our lives.

“Love is Gentle, Kind and Patient”

Newly WedsGentleness can be everywhere: in what we say, in how we move, in the people and circumstances we quietly choose to bless ourselves with. It is moving easily instead of roughshod through life, speaking with kindness rather than blurting things; making room for the stranger who arrives, the beautiful things that unexpectedly happens.

Gentleness is the soft virtue, the cloudy featherless of spirit that allows you to move forward toward the person you love, and through each circumstance you face, in an easy, graceful, and gracious manner touching delicately, listening openly, feeling with empathy, seeing with eyes of compassion. Gentleness eases the way, adds refinement and grace to the journey , softens the blows, cushions the sorrow, lightens the burdens.

Kindness is the sweet virtue. It soothes and calms and renews. It remembers and adds touches of color like a rainbow or a bouquet of spring flowers. It offers the unmasked-for word, the spirit-cleansing compliment, the nurturing embrace. It is soft; it reaches out to mend and amend. Can I help you?  Is there anything I can do? I’m sorry. I hope things will change. Kindness is the unnecessary necessity, the unasked-for moment of beauty that adds a hopeful texture to every measure of our lives.

Patience is a quiet virtue, the ability to willingly wait for what is unseen to gradually be made manifest. Patience is faith, the conviction that what you imagine, need, or believe to be the highest fulfillment of how you think things ought to be for yourself, for your relationships, for the whole amazing span of your life, will gradually and beautifully reveal itself in time.

Patience with one another is also a quietness of spirit, a deep inner knowing that rests secure in the knowledge that you are on the right journey, that your sweetheart, and that no matter the pitfall or detours , you can stand at his side, be in her presence, quietly waiting. . .  with patience.

Love waxes and wanes with the seasons, with out hormones, and our circumstances, but love of the heart and soul must be constantly nourished and tended to. Patience gives us hope for the future; gentleness gives us grace in the moment; kindness dissolves the wounds of the past. Be gentle, kind and patient with one another and watch your love beautifully flourish.

“Sometimes Reclaiming Your Life Means Giving Up The Fariy Tale”

Couple in conflictHave you ever felt that you walked the path of your life alone? That you were the only woman who has ever made a painful, stupid mistake? That you settled for less than you deserved?  Did you desperately desire love above all else? Did you yearn for a real partner so much it hurt: Have you ever thought “Why is every woman but me in a great relationship?  “Why can’t I be that happy?” Or found yourself rejected by the person you loved and it left you feeling that something was wrong with you?

When a devastating breakdown of a relationship ends it can feel like a wild boar‘s tusk ripping through your heart. You can become convinced that you are the only woman who has ever made a complete mess of your life. You feel alone, rejected, and furious that you had deceived yourself for so long. That you had given up on “yourself” to keep the love of another for years, only to be left with a heart torn to shreds.

What women learn shortly after the initial blow of their relationship’s end is that, they failed to understand above all else, is that they needed to honor the most important relationship of all “the one with themselves.” The ending of a relationship becomes the beginning of a journey for women  to learn many things about themselves and how to love and honor themselves.

The journey of being a woman can seem crazy and confusing but for better or worse, women have many of the same stories, heartbreak, obstacles, and expectations. The good news is that women don’t have to remain captive to the limiting beliefs swirling in their psyches and in society, which keeps them far from their dreams. We always have a choice. Along life’s path, we all have the opportunity to gain wisdom from our mistakes, the self-awareness that comes from healing our wounds, and clarity by claiming our needs.

If we are lucky enough to wake up to the immense power that is available to heal our hearts and teach us how to love ourselves, we have a responsibility to share our stories and insights with others. Otherwise, the true power of our realizations will be lost. Sharing allows us to see ourselves in the words of others, gain witnesses to our personal journey, and broaden the possibilities that lie before us.

I, too relied on the wisdom and support of many women, some of them total strangers, to progress through my journey to wholeness.  By watching others and listening, I learned that to fully and wholeheartedly love another I first needed to fully and wholeheartedly embrace ” myself.” This realization is a major source of inspiration in my decision to share my knowledge and experiences with  other women. Women need to share the wisdom gained on their personal path as they went from being a person they thought they had to be to be loved to being the one they actually are.

In them I gained wisdom while on my personal path as I went from being  a person I thought I knew and loved to being one I actually do know and love. We shared our stories about living ordinary lives, raising children, creating a safe home life, the ups and downs of stay at home moms to the working moms. Some of us were married and some single. We talked about many issues like paying bills, being young, and getting older and the list goes on and on and lets not forget divorce as well. We also talked about trying to find sources of love and happiness but often looking in the wrong places. When we stopped and took a careful look at the life we had created and honesty answered this question “Am I honoring the most important relationship in my life first?  The one with my self and God.

We discovered reclaiming our lives meant giving up the fairy tale that we had created about ourselves and instead finding out what reality was. The new path may did not seem clear at the beginning to us  and we felt like we were fumbling in the dark grabbing for something to hold to, then one of my dear friends said, remember this is a normal feeling and keep moving forward and don’t go back. During this time we discovered within ourselves the spirit of survivor and a deeper faith we never knew existed.

 We also learned that loving ourselves is knowing ourselves, enjoying and valuing the women that we are, and understanding that getting to know ourselves and God  is a lifelong personal enterprise. It meant that we needed to  appreciate ourselves as much as we appreciate the ones we love. Loving ourselves is recognizing our gifts and talents and then putting them to good use, acknowledging our flaws and forgiving ourselves for them. We learned that loving ourselves was reaching for more, it was reaching for the best, in ourselves. We discovered that our hearts can only hold as much love as we believe it can. So often women put up with shabby treatment in love because they don’t believe they deserve better or they are still stuck in fairy tale thinking.  So treat yourself better, believe you deserve to be treated well, and you will get treated even more wonderfully in love than any fairy tale woman has ever been. 

Carol. M.