A Little Humor For A Boomer’s Heart

 Kids QuotesHumor for a boomer’s heart

1. “What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life. And most important, cookies.” By Rudolph Giuliani.

2. ” A house needs a grandma in it.” C By  Louisa May Alcott.

3.”Never have children, only grandchildren.” BY Gore Vidal.

4. “When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the widow.” By Omar Sharif.

5. “My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. she’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where she is.” By Ellen DeGeneres. C.

6. “My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drink’s right out of the bottle.” By Henny Youngman.

7. “Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle star-dust over the lives of little children.” By Alex Haley

8. “Elephants and grandchildren never forget.” By Andy Rooney.

9. ” The best babysitters of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your bay to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida.” By David Sedaris.

10. “A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.” By  Erma Bombeck

 

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“Wedding Bliss In A Shoe Box”

 Wedding Bliss                                                                                       

Stella and Johnny spent their fiftieth wedding anniversary reminiscing about how amazing their wedding was. Stella said, it seemed like each flower bloomed on que and represented their love for each other, the candles were bright and dancing, the wedding party didn’t miss a step as the wedding march played. 

It was a grand wedding and after the I do’s and good byes Stella’s, elderly grandmother Sadie, stopped Stella and reminded her of the two promises that Stella, had made to her when she announced her wedding plans.  Stella,reassured Sadie,that she was looking forward to fulfilling her grandmothers requests. 

The first request was that Stella and Johnny would spend their honeymoon in Niagara Falls, New York because it was family tradition. The second request was that Stella would always keep mad money in the shoe box on the shelf in her closet and that Johnny would never snoop in it. Sadie, gave her a decorated wedding shoe box that she called, her “wedding bliss box” and promised her grand-daughter that it would work.

After Johnny carried Stella across the threshold of their first home, she placed a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and asked him never to touch it. For fifty years Johnny left the box alone. But one day, while he was searching for the deed to their house, he spotted the box. Caving in to temptations, he opened it. To his surprise, he found two doilies and $75,000 in cash. He put the box back in the closet. Puzzled about what he had found, he confessed to Stella that he had opened the box and begged her to explain the contents. 

“Grandma Sadie”, gave me her shoe box just as I was getting ready to walk down the aisle, to say my wedding vows,” Stella explained. “She told me to make a doily for every time I became mad at you and we would enjoy a long and happy marriage” Johnny was genuinely touched that in a half century, his wife had been mad at him only twice. ” So where did the $75.000 come from?” he asked.”Oh, replied Stella’s, “that’s the money I made from selling the rest of the doilies.”  Stella, smiled and under her breath thanked her grandmother for the best advice a bride could receive.

What Do Grandparents Want To Know

Being a grandparent in today‘s world isn’t what it use to be, it’s better. If you’re already a grandparent you know that being a grandparent today isn’t just about babysitting and boasting it can be the most challenging role of your life.

 Grandparents today are so different from all other generations especially from their grandparents. A new grandparent is created every twenty seconds and if you are one of them, welcome!

There are a lot of us already statistics show that we make up one-third of the U.S. population. There are now 70 million grandparents in the United States, and 1.7 million more every year. And while there are a lot of books written to help parents who worry about their baby’s health, their baby’s size compared to the charts, and what IQboosting toys they should buy for their toddlers, there are very few books for us. Their parents. The grandparents!

Do we really need a book about grandparenting? After all, weren’t we parents already? Aren’t we founts of help and advice? Thrilled and devoted? Ready to jump in and help, but wise enough to know when to bow out and be silent? The givers of gifts, and guardians of family history? Mature? Mellow? and Marvelous?

You might be thinking yes, but… and isn’t grandparenting natural? Weren’t their grandparents long before there were books? Isn’t it instinctive? Basic? And built-in? Yes, but… haven’t we grown up watching our own grandparents in action? We had grandparents, our children have grandparents, and now our grandchildren have grandparents. It’s the way of the world, isn’t it? Yes, but… You’ll find that while your emotions may be universal and the problems are timeless, one thing is very different for today’s grandparents. We are different!

Who we really are is a question that many grandparents are asking themselves and each other in today’s society. Here is what a few grandparents are saying; We are healthier, more active, and more youthful and young at heart than our predecessors. Plus, we’re still working and working out, teaching, and learning, traveling, marrying, divorcing, remarrying, and melding our families. Grandparents today have more access to information full of tips on ways the can be the best grandparent they can be.

Our book cases are full of books about cooking, traveling, art, gardening, home improvements, investing money, how to look ten years younger, how to use our nooks, Ipads, cell phones, computers, the million apps that we can use for free, consumer reports covering the A to Z’s of any thing you could think of to buy along with the series of “Dummy Books” and let’s not forget how to be a modern grandparent.

I don’t know if there is a book called ” Grandparenting for Dummy’s” or not I just thought of that. I can tell you that if there isn’t one I’m sure someone will write one soon and it will probably be a best seller. It’s time to google Dummy Books to find out if there is a Dummy Book for Grandparents let me know.

What do grandparents today want to know? Since we are grandparents like no others, our questions are like no others. We want to know how to pick a name of ourselves. What’s wrong with “Grandpa” or “Grandma”? Nothing, but it’s often already taken, since our parents, and perhaps even their parents, are still alive. With so many grandparents, blended and melded grandparents, and great-grandparents in most families, grandparents today want to know how to be the favorite or at least, among the favorites.

We want ot know if it is normal to have “favorites,” to feel bored at times or stressed when our grandchildren visit. We want to know how to make grandchildren smile without spoiling, and help their parents provide for them financially in this bad economy without becoming a purse or a nurse.

We want to know how to handle divorce without hurting the grandchildren (our divorce, their parents’ divorce). We want to know what our daughter-in-laws really think about us and how to develop a better relationship with them so we can get even closer to our grandchildren.

Grandparents want to know so they participate in groups focused on distant granparenting, daughter-in-law problems, grandfathering, financial concerns, and much more. Lots participate in the online surveys. Many of them enjoy contributing and reading grandparent humor. I love everything about grandparenting humor and sometimes I write about something my grandson’s have just done and I find myself laughing as I am writing it’s a blast isn’t it?

Grandparents from every walk of life and from across this country are asking questions about grandparenting we want to know and if someone would write a book called “Straight Talk for Grandparents” telling us what we want to know we would appreciate it and maybe in the future our grandchildren will say thank you grandma or grandpa for believing in me. Grandparents are busy enough so a book written in plain english full of do this and do that because it is in the best interest of your children and grandchildren would help make the world of grandparenting run a lot smoother.

I want to thank my grandparents for making me feel like the smartest and most talented grandchild in the world. Doesn’t that statement just melt your heart? Take a minute and  image that your grandchildren are saying thank you Nana for making me feel like the smartest and most talented grandchild in the world. Don’t you feel all warm and tingling all over just thinking about them saying that to you? I know I do!

Love Is All There Is

Love is all there is when you take your last breath you remember the people you love, how much love you inspired, and how much love you gave.

If you only had forty minutes left to tell your love story what would you say?

What would you say so your great-great-grandchildren could someday know their grandparents love story? Would they be reminded how much love matters?  Would they hear the power, strength, and wisdom of love. Would they know that you cut right to the heart of love with every word you spoke? Would they know that the greatest themes in life is love?

Would they know you experienced romantic love? Would they hear about falling in love, remembering a loved one; and finding love unexpectedly after assuming it was no longer in the cards.

Would you speak of enduring and of the redemptive power of love. Would you make their spirit soar in a culture that often feels consumed by all that’s phony or famous. Would your words of love remind them to try to live a life without regrets?

Would you share your beliefs about love and how you celebrated love? Would you tell them about the dignity, power, and grace of love? Would you speak of love and marriage? Would you speak of your love for your children? Your love for your grandchildren? Would you speak of your love of country and God? Would you speak at the age of 85 about the love of your life who passed away a few years ago?

Here is a love story about Bob and his wife Dot as told by Bob at the age of 85.

“My wife and I were   honeymooners in San Fransisco and we saw a sign that said ” Successful Marriage.”

 I never will forget it: It had six points to always say to your wife or husband. The first one was: You Look Great.  The second one was: Can I help? The third one was: Let’s Eat Out. The fourth one was: I Was Wrong. And the fifth one was: I Am Sorry. But last and most important one was: I Love You. That was it. There were six statements, and it said if you follow them, you’ll have a successful marriage. So we followed it, and we did have a successful marriage.

“It lasted fifty-three years, two months, and five days. It’s been rough, but every morning when Bob wakes up she is included in his prayers, and he talks to her every night when he goes to bed. She was something. One thing: He said, if they ever let him go through those pearly gates, he’s going to walk all over God’s heaven until he finds that girl. And the first thing he’s going to do is ask her if she would marry him, and do it all over again.”

Love survives discrimination, illness, poverty, distance and even death. In the courage of people’s passion we are reminded of the strength and resilience of the human spirit through the power of love. We bear witness to real love, in its many varied forms, enriching our understanding of that most magical feelings of love. What’s your love language? What would you tell your great great-grandchildren about love?

Do You Have A Grandparent Rival

Grandparents love indulging  grandchildren, love surprising them, love giving them presents, and love seeing the smiles on their fabulous faces when they walk in the door. It’s so much fun! Isn’t it?

A recent grandparent poll asked grandparents this question:  Do you have a grandparent rival?  62% said, Yes I can’t help it and 38% said, No we’re fine. The response to the 62% group was don’t be surprised or embarrassed it’s natural, if you feel a bit competitive with the other set of grandparents and want to be the favorite… or at least on your grandchildren’s favorite list.

But of course, being the favorite grandparent every minute of every day isn’t always possible. First of all, no grandparent can always give their grandchildren everything they want and never say no. Grandparenting may be more fun than parenting, but it’s not a free-for-all. As my grandmother use to say when she had to say No,”anybody can be your friend but my job is to be your grandmother.”

The truth is you probably can’t out do all the other sets of grandparents all the time even if you wanted to. But thank goodness grandparents don’t have to. Just like grandparents, grandchildren have enough love to go around. We can love all our grandchildren and they can love all their grandparents! You may not be your grandchildren’s only favorite, or favorite every day, but if you treat them with love and respect, you will always be a winner in the end. And so will they!

And finally, if you feel like you’re losing the “favorite” race from time to time because you’re the grandmother-in-law and your daughter-in-law prefers her own parents’ brand of grandparenting to yours, you’re probably right! The same Grandparenting poll found 57 percent of paternal grandmothers (that’s the husband’s mother) often felt left out.

It went on to say, After all, your daughter-in-law is parenting the way she was parented by her own mother and in some circumstances it may have been a grandmother, aunt, older sister, or a father who did the parenting but try to remember they did their best.

After all it’s familiar to her and seems “right”. And besides, you were the first woman in her husband’s life, know him longer and better than she does, she’s probably compared to you too often, and if you have a daughter of your own, you may play favorites yourself without even realizing it.

Grandparents who live far away worry that grandparents who live closer will be preferred, and the grandparents with less money worry that wealthier grandparents will gift their way to first place. And if there’s only one child, the stakes are even higher.

So, being “the favorite” may be only a grandparent’s fun fantasy, but there are lots of fun things you can to do that can help you make your dream of being on your grandchildren’s “favorite” Grandparent list.

Here a four Secrets of Favorite Grandparents out of many

  1. Don’t buy love. Reassure yourself that your grandkids will love you even without the nonstop presents and then prove it. Set a one-month gift or candy moratorium, and just play with the kids when they come over, or read to them, or teach them something special, like a funny dance or a goofy kids song, instead of taking them shopping. Let yourself see that you are valued and loved even if you don’t dispense gifts.
  2. Don’t load them up with contraband. Gifts of toys and candy are a problem in another way too. If we take our grandchildren to the candy store, and they stuff bags full of candies and carry them back home, we’ve put their parents in the position of saying yes to junk or no to the special treats. The kids should not bring home varieties of toys and candy that are not allowed in their house, because then you won’t be given many chances to become a favorite!
  3. Do Listen. Ask questions about their likes and dislikes, their games and friends, real and imaginary, their TV programs, books, and their electronic games… and then really listen to their answers. Listen when they talk spontaneously, when they talk repetitively, when they talk endlessly. Listen when they are silly and serious. It’s been said before, their parents just can’t listen to them on a daily basis the way you can when they are with you on a visit. Be the grandparent who understands, the one who is patient, the grandparent who accepts what they say without a lot of lectures and criticism.
  4. Do find Similarities. Become one of your grandchildren’s soul mates and they will feel a bond that will never be broken. Start by going throughfavorites” lists and compare notes. They are called the “Top-Three Lists”. Try top-three favorite… vegetables, meats, fruit, candy, snacks, colors, activities, holidays then do the “Bottom Three” you get the idea. Then go through secret wishes, hardest school subjects, least favorite chores, funny movies and so forth. Every time you find a match, make a big deal out of it. Shout, “Match!” Write it down but mainly remember it. When you talk to your grandchildren, even by phone, Skype, chat, text, e-mail, try to bring up one of those similarities. Like “Our favorite holiday is only three weeks away,” or, “I had to eat our least favorite vegetable today because it was in the salad already.”
  5. Make your home their home away from home. If you have the space, set aside the basement, a room, or even a corner of the living room as your grandkids’ very own space. Let them keep their toys and games there. You’re not only telling them they’re welcome, your backing up with actions. This keeps them wanting to come back again and again. And after all, that’s the plan!

Being a grandparent in today’s world isn’t what it use to be, it’s better! Lets embrace our exciting new role and create wonderful relationships with our children and grandchildren. Remember being a grandparent today isn’t just about babysitting and boasting and it is different from our predecessors.

Top Model or Cowboy

The nursery rhyme “Doctor, Lawyer, Indian Chief ” is a great reminder that we don’t know what the future holds for our grandchildren. We don’t know in what directions our grandchildren will choose to walk.

What we do know is that we are privileged to walk with them along their paths and share in their journey. Who knows, maybe someday one will say, ” I became a famous wardrobe designer because of my Nana cut out swathes of pink for me, and mixed and matched outfits.”

Elizabeth has always been fascinated with fashion. Now her younger sister Amy has become her top model she tries on all of Elizabeth latest creations especially the outfits made in the color pink. My friend Jane who Elizabeth and Amy call Nana always says, Who knows Elizabeth just might become a famous wardrobe designer or the next Coco Channel and Amy might become the next top model pretty in pink.

Jane sees Elizabeth and Amy’s fascination as an opportunity to interact on a most personal level, with them. She buys them books about colors, fabrics, hats, the other day she bought a book about buttons.

They love spending hours pouring over magazines and pictures in book about fashions for girls. It may turn into a career, or it may not; but in the mean time Jane is enjoying the journey. The other day the girls started taking ballet lessons so they just might become famous ballerina who knows. Jane is off to the book store to stock up on books about ballerinas it’s good that Jane has a lot of book cases isn’t it?

Ask any group of children these days what they want to be when they grow up. and their answers will likely range anywhere from astronaut to zookeeper, with lots of layers in between. In these answers, children are expressing their personalities, experiences, and dreams.

This past Sunday my grandson Jeremy wore his coast guard air flight jumper (that is just like his dads) with his black knee-high cow-boy boots to church. When I picked him up he had added a king’s crown and he was carrying my heart-shaped plastic basket with parts of his Lego building set in it. We went out to lunch after church with his good buddy Mr. Joel and Jeremy was the center of attention all eyes where on him. Jeremy was expressing his personality and we had a blast.

Doctor, Lawyer. Indian Chief, Model, Wardrobe Designer, Coast Guard Man, Cowboy or a King what will our grandchildren grow up to be?

A Relationship Isn’t Like Grandma’s Silver

A relationship isn’t like Grandma’s silver that you can take out of its box once a year to polish. It’s something that needs constant spiffying up.

How you and your partner cope with these statements: I had a hard day or I have bad news to tell you can set the stage for how the two of you spend the rest of your evening together. Depending on how and when the two of you talk about the hard day you had or the bad news it can rob you of your joy. Learning relationship skills can help you and your partner return to joy faster and that is better than remaining angry and up set for the rest of the evening isn’t it?

Your home is your castle but sometimes coming home after a hard day at the office or a hard day traveling or it’s just a hard commute. The kids may have acted up, the washing machine may have broken down or the loneliness was too much.

Up or down, down or up, what ever the cause, sometimes opening the front door, the tensions can be cut with a knife. Coming home should be a time of relief. A man or woman’s home is his or her castle. When that front door close behind you, there’s an expectation of calm and getting off the rat’s treadmill for a little while.

So when that open door presents you with an out-of- control maelström of anger, crying or tension, you’re left with no place to go and the bell sounds “round one” the moment one partner enters the house, then no one should be surprised if he or she comes in swinging with words.

There’s no question that the problems at home must be dealt with, but there needs to be a moment or two of transition before they are handed over on a red-hot cookie sheet. So let the person coming home take a deep breath, change out of their work clothes, and maybe have a snack. Then give him or her the bad news or whatever else it is and they will be better equipped to help deal with it.

Here is a suggestion while you may want to give partners coming home a few minutes to gather themselves, you also might want to let them know there’s’ a storm on the horizon. Set up some sort of signal it can be a verbal or a little sign such as an actual red flag so that they’ll know to expect something. Remember a relationship isn’t like Grandma’s silver that you take out of its box once a year to polish it’s something that needs constant spiffying up with red flags and snacks.